I went out with lenk for sushi. It was SO fun.

I just realised that i miss her SO much. We didnt talk about depressing stuff. Really funny stuff. Like bitching. and all that shiaaaaat x)

i love you lenk. the only thing lim look forward to is u and polar moving here! x) im so excited

today i swan with pitoon. i kinda suck at swimming. vafter 6 laps i was like omg i wanna die alr

x(

good luck to ppl who have their OP tmw

*goooood luck kiss*

Relief. Suprise. Sadness. The emotions that drowned me when……….

I never thought that things would turn out this way. Never Ever. This is probably the worst nightmare i could have in Sec 3 about JC life. And i just dont get it. How could either of us let this happen.

What about all the things that happened between us. The tears we shared, the laughter we had, the fights me solved. Does that matter anymore?

I dont know what happened that could land us in such a situation. A situation void of love, care, friendship. It used to be full to the brim. and now its bare, leaving us with nothing to hold on to.

Let me tell you my part of the story

The amount of unreplied msges, unanswered phone calls. Sometimes i DID wonder whether ur new friends were more important that me. Cuz it really seemed so. And i didnt know where i went wrong. Was it cuz i was being too bitchy. Being too bimbo. We had different groups of friends. or just purely the differences between us?

But it really hurts. And its so ironic.

In the past, when we were still on good terms, all i ever asked for its to have good results, and maybe a good guy around me. And now, i have way more than that. My results are great compared to last time, i can take my pick on guys. Yet its still so wrong. everything is so wrong.

Because the thought of not even being able to see you next year is excruciating. It seems like as the days go by, things between us deterioate a step further. And by next year, you’ll just be someone i used to know. Someone that used to be my best friend. Someone of the past, not of the present.

And i did want to set things right. Believe me, i really did. I wanted to send an sms, write a letter, get you something. God knows the crazy things that i wanted to do. But didnt do. I didnt know what you would say. how you would react. Would you just push me aside, go off with your new friends. Would you forget all that has happened, and start our friendship anew. but i didnt. I was scared. and part of me hoped that you would do it. Because i didnt know how. And i guess i assumed too much. At the other end, you wanted me to do the same. and yet nothing happened. Everything was stagnant.

And yes, i admit, that I consider you as almost gone in my life. But i didnt want it to happen, i swear. I was just so scared to face you. Not knowing what i had done wrong. and most of the time i thought, you just didnt like me anymore. You couldnt stand me anymore. and i should just let. it. go. and thats what i did.

and probably you’ll be happier with your new best friends. The new people you found that could give you much more happiness that i could have ever given you. and i was right.

I found my own group of friends. Different from yours. But nevertheless.

But nothing beats you. and its so crazy. We used to be like the bestest friends on earth. Yet now im even closer to people that used to be a mere acquaintance in my life.

You never did play a badkstage role in my life. you didnt and you still dont. Maybe not an important role anymore. But neverthessless, you are still in my life. and you are one person that I cant eliminate. Because of what you did for me.

And now we’re both seperate entities, growing and stepping into different paths that will seperate us even further. We used to hold hands, yet we walked apart. and there can a point, where we just had to let go. Stetching as far as we could, but still we did let go. Instead of one being the giving one and following the other. But thats not what happened.

And maybe its for the better. Even though i still really want to have you in my life. Theres just so much we’;ve missed.

It makes me cry to think that we wont be able to spend each other’s birthdays anymore together. To go shopping. To sit and bitch. because you’ll be so far away. and i just dont see how we can do it again. Its almost impossible, right? We cant even mantain the friendship now.

And this is the part that i have to end. I dont know if you’ll ever get to read this, considering i hold such little significance in your life. But i do love you. Not the type of love that a guy showers me. And now i know what you mean by never let a guy love you just for your looks and your body. Because after all this time you were away, i went through alot. And there were different people in my life, telling me to do this do that. Yet through all this, i encountered myself. And i grew stronger. More mature. More defiant. But with the good comes the bad.

Im not the the me last time anymore. Im not hyper, im not bubbly. I became quiet, more practical. Still stubborn. Still defiant. But its all for the better.

I just want to wish you all the luck for your promotional.

I loved you, love you, and will love you.

o.O

O.o

o.O

O.o

o.O

O.o

o.O

someone didnt even have the decency to tell me thrs no PW.

my dad drove me back yst for fucking pw and i had to calle evryone early in the morning cuz someone didnt reply my msg.

LIKE FUCK LA.

my dad is leaving in one month. i shud be spending more time with him. and i felt bad cuz i shoudlnt like bring my PW members down

wtf

My parents may be coming down this weekend

yay.

Mr see tho said im TOOOOO aggressive

seriously i dont realise it.

But i will try! xD but he said i did manage to bluff my way through. so drama comes in handy for real life situations.

I really wanna understand you, yet it seems like we come from different ends of the world. Its so hard you know. Yet i keep telling myself, its ok its ok its ok. Yet, is it really okay?

Like i love to say to mr lin, “CHILL!”

jh nv fails to make me laugh despite all the shit im going through. thanks sis xD

We just had our batch meeting. and boy, it wasnt a pretty sight.

basically some people are angry. i dont blame them. I mean different people have different perspectives, and all of them are valid. maybe its bcuz our batch is too huge. that we can never be like our seniors. united. AS ONE. no one left out.

Everyone wants to move out of oldham, some to serangoon, some to SSH. But in the end we decided to stay. Since we cant please anyone, might as well not try to. Personally i dont really like oldham, due to various reasons. but im okay staying here. if this is a challenge to unite us, then bring it on.

It really hurts to think about next year. How some of us wont be here anymore. Our batch will decrease in size. and those people leaving are like family. Seriously. Even though some of us fight and bitch, but deep down inside, they are family. and no matter what happens, no matter what shit trouble they get themselves into, you justcant stand aside and leave them in a lurch.

As long as one leaves, that means we’re not complete.

I really want us to be together. to make decisions together. to come to the consensus together.
No more cat fights, girly bitching.

Lets stand together and face them who are coming.

im sensitive

Over sensitive perhaps

But thats in my nature

It comes in a package, if you dont want it, leave it.

I just dont like being neglected and ignored just like that

Im not some rebound, where you can talk to me when ur free, push me aside when youre busy

I have alr told u im attention demanding.

now everything is going wrong.

im upset.

i dont know why.

Sudden insecurity.

The thought of you being there. doing things that are beyond my control.

The thought of people leaving my side. and i’ll never see them again

The thought of my dad going so far away

I think too much…

Now, when he and I meet, after all these years,

I say to the bitch inside me, don’t start growling.

He isn’t a trespasser anymore,

Just an old acquaintance tipping his hat.

My voice says, “Nice to see you,”

As the bitch starts to bark hysterically.

He isn’t my enemy now,

Where are your manners, I say, as I say,

“How are the children? They must be growing up.”

At a kind word from him, a look like the old days,

The bitch changes her tone: she begins to whimper.

She wants to snuggle up to him, to cringe.

Down, girl! Keep your distance

Or I’ll give you a taste of the choke-chain.

“Fine, I’m just fine,” I tell him.

She slobbers and grovels.

After all, I am her mistress. She is basically loyal.

It’s just that she remembers how she came running

Each evening, when she heard his step;

How she lay at his feet and looked up adoringly

Though he was absorbed in his paper;

Or, bored with her devotion, ordered her to the kitchen

Until he was ready to play.

But the small careless kindnesses

When he’d had a good day, or a couple of drinks,

Come back to her now, seem more important

Than the casual cruelties, the ultimate dismissal.

“It’s nice to know you are doing so well,” I say.

He couldn’t have taken you with him;

You were too demonstrative, too clumsy,

Not like the well-groomed pets of his new friends.

“Give my regards to your wife,” I say. You gag

As I drag you of by he scruff,

Saying, “Goodbye! Goodbye! Nice to have seen you again.”